Lil' D is 4 Months Today!

Four months ago today our Lil' D arrived kicking and screaming. She was a pleasant surprise, as I was expecting a baby boy {long story}. Last evening her Papi decided it was time for her to go to the beach to get her little toes wet. 

Of course I packed everything but the baby suntan lotion, so I was hesitant to let her luxuriate in the sunshine. 

She was not feeling the ice old water.


 Simpleton #1 and #2 decided to take her stroller on the beach {bad idea trying to move a 40 lbs. stroller while walking on hot ass sand}, because we didn't have an umbrella to protect her from the sun.

First Foot Prints in the Sand


Lil' D is 3 Months Old

Lil' D is 3 months old!! Damn time flies. I still don't see much of myself in her features, but each month she looks different. She's taken to sucking her thumb while rubbing her ear. She sucks it so loudly, it's so annoying. As soon as you take her thumb from her mouth she screams bloody murder and she refuses the pacifier.  Overall she is a peaceful, smiley baby who refuses to sleep in her bassinet {I've created a monster}.

Last night after watching the movie Devil, we watched the latest episode of the Braxton Family. Now I'm not much of a television watcher, but when something intrigues me, as the Braxton girls do, I am a dedicated viewer. In this episode the girls planned a dinner with their estranged father. From the beginning of the show I was trying to understand the psyche of these women. For instance, they love fake beauty enhancements, choose men poorly, and just overall seem to have deep-seeded issues. Well I figured it out! They have classic Daddy issues

Their Dad was a very religious man, and a big time whore. Toni mentioned she didn't wear pants until she was 14.5 years old. I always wondered why she dressed sooooo damn provocative and I finally got my answer. As a teacher I see classic cases of this issue in both my male and female students. Not having a father-figure is detrimental to a child's development. 

 "Generally, daddy issues implies that a female remains incomplete and seeks some sort of fatherly or familial relationship with mates, which is not the best foundation upon which to build a relationship. Fathers or strong and consistent male presence in a girl’s life do have a significant effect on self-esteem. This is largely undisputed by experts in psychology. Feeling attractive and loved by “daddy” (or other strong male figure) can help a girl have more confidence and strength. This is not necessarily penis envy, but it does appear as though girls and women can prosper better in their lives if they had positive male input from a father figure. Without that, girls may express daddy issues in seeking out father figures, or placing even very good men with whom they are in relationship, in positions that they really can’t adequately fill." Source

I remember my second year of teaching, one of my female students asked me why I didn't have any kids with D. She knew we had been together for several years and she couldn't fathom the idea that we were childless, especially because we were living together, and owned a house. My answer to her was I was not married and I made the decision not to be a Baby Mama. This little 12 year old girl said, "That's stupid" and went on to clarify the reasons for her statement. She had never seen a couple, other than white people {her words}, married before having kids, unless they were on t.v. I told her a lot. Mainly that her way of thinking was problematic and counterproductive. With so many Black children


Total  Percentage of Single Parent Households in America

Non-Hispanic White 24%  
Black or African American 67%  
American Indian 53%  
Asian and Pacific Islander 16%  
Hispanic or Latino 40%  
Total 34% OF U.S. Population

Older pictures I neglected to post


Lil' D's legs are so cute and chubby.

I  really want to pierce her ears soon.

Rest stop photo op -- Lil' D was tired

 After eating at the $20 per person Hibachi Grill/Buffet-- You like my $40 Rx glasses from Walmart?


Its hot and my hair is suffering. They say once you have your baby your hormones change your hair.

Well honey my hair is as dry as the Sahara Desert.

At the mall with Titi and Papi

Milestone Moment: First Roll Over

At exactly nine weeks Lil' D rolled over. She was lying on her belly, getting some "Tummy Time", and BAM . . . on her back she went.


Thought she would roll over for me like she did for her Papi, but she didn't. Watch below.

I've got to get my diet together. Another element that makes breastfeeding so complicated is the need to watch everything you eat {similar to the 40 weeks of pregnancy}. I love pizza, egg rolls, cabbage, beans and cheese. Lil' D's stomach rejects all of them. As a result our Friday night was spent with acranky baby.

No Bueno.

After a few doses of Gripe Water.


Lil' D is 2 Months Old

Lil' D is two months and I am already getting glimpses of her personality. She and her Papi went to her 2 month doctor's appointment where she got her scheduled shots. D claimed she shrieked when the nurse poked her with the shot, but that she quickly recovered. By the time I got home later that day she was calm and collected, no fever or crankiness.

At 2 months Lil' D is a strapping 10.25 pounds and 23 inches tall.

When D gave her a bath later that night and touched her thighs, where she was given the shots, she pulled her leg away really quickly so I guess it was still tender.

 D read we need to establish a routine to follow each evening to get her to sleep through the night. He baths her, I feed her, then swaddle her tightly. We hoped that the nice warm bath would get her to sleep longer, but we were sadly mistaken. I wish for more sleep. :)

Lil D's 1st Professional Shoot



More pics from Lil' D's first photo shoot with her Auntie.

D + Lil' D + I + Orangutan Tits

Now for the comedy . . .

 My foolish husband decided the cat was a part of the family and needed to be included.

My "What the Hell" expression



So my husband just said:

"Mommy and I are going to make sure you have a bangin' wedding. . . . I'm going to make sure we get to know each other {referring to her future beau}. We are going to go on dates, just me and him. Private dates." {Shaking my head} Why is our baby a little over a month old and you're taking about weddings, her future husband, and dates?! Doing the most. If my husband is not having random one-sided conversations with Lil' D is he singing "Papi, Papi, Papi" or something in Spanish.


Lil' D's First Easter Weekend

This was an eventful weekend. We baptised Lil' D on Resurrection Sunday. We decided not to have godparents for her and just keep everything to a minimum. There are a host of individuals we considered for the role, but because we couldn't make a final decision we 86 the whole thing.

It was nice having uninterrupted sleep for a few days. I pumped and Lil' D was passed around between her grandparents and aunties. It was nice. 

Chilling in the kitchen waiting for everyone to get dressed

 Rev. Dred Scott and Lil' D

Getting a touch of Holy Water on her forehead

 All done . . .

 Our post church photo shootLil' D + I  at the park

First time I wore a Spanx. It was very comfortable. Now I wish I could find one for my breasts. 

My skin looks like it regurgitated. I feel like I'm back in ninth grade. Ummm . . . might need to get some Proactiv.

Lil' D + her Papi

After a wardrobe change . . . she spent a lot of time this weekend in quiet alertness. She was fascinated by the various voices, smells, and faces.

Lil' D got to meet a lot of important people this week. Her Uncle Richie and Uncle Corwin came to see her and she was full of smiles.

 Back in New Jersey.

Lil' D + I 

My hair didn't last the weekend. In my haste to beat traffic on I-95 I didn't have my lady blow my hair all the way out {just the roots}. Being totally natural is rough in the humid weather. I'm thinking about just wearing it wash-and-go curly from now on. I purchased DevaCurl products a while back, it time to lay off the heat.


Lil' D is One Month Today!

It's 1:28 a.m. and I am taking a break from editing a paper for D. Lil' D is lying on my chest knocked out. In a little less than 12 hours she will be one month old. Time truly does fly! Yesterday she and I did a little shopping. We went to Conway (I needed a cheap girdle), Walmart (needed Rx sunglasses, diapers, and iron tablets), Home Goods (I'm redecorating my bedroom), and TJ Maxx (I'm a Maxxinista and I purchased two dresses for back to work). As I was spending money I had thoughts of day care and the hard decision we are going to have to make in September.

I want an Au Pair, D says he doesn't want a stranger in "his" house. I want a language immersion day care center, he says it's too much, we can buy a Benz with that money. I am frustrated. Shit this seems harder than when I chose a college. The decision will come down to three simple things:


  1. Money -- Paying $450 a week for someone to change a diaper, feed, and pick up our baby is ridiculous. For D any price more than $150 a week is too much. I agree with him for now. Once Lil' D gets to be 2 she is getting enrolled in an immersion school. This is a non-negotiable, she has to learn Castilian Spanish. I also want her to learn Chinese (yeah I know random, but not really Chinese, Spanish, and English are the languages to know).
  2. Convenience -- I work in Manhattan, D works in Paterson. I leave for work at 6:30, D 7:30 in the morning. D works 3-4 jobs (yeah a true Jamaican- LOL!). We have to strategically plan how and who will drop off and pick up Lil' D. Do we want a place near D's job or in the City near me? 
  3. Reputation -- The few places I have looked into have excellent reputations. With these reputations comes a big price tag.

 Decisions . . . Decisions.

 I'm glad I have 12 weeks of maternity leave plus the summer break. Otherwise this child care decision would have to be a hasty decision. I feel some kind a way when I go to a hood store and have to check my bag. Imagine how I feel having to entrust my most prized possession with a stranger. D is totally vexed. He said to me last week and again last night, "Why can't you be a stay at home mom?". 


Hell to the NO! The three weeks I stayed in the house per our pediatrician's recommendation was torture. She had the nerve to say 2 months-- what she smoking on? Not being able to go to Manhattan on a daily basis, no sample sales, no daily walks through Time Square, no Macy's. Nope not willing to do. Sorry Lil D- I promise I will find the perfect day care provider. I hope . . .