It’s been an extremely long time since I have shared my thoughts and feelings on this blog. Another chapter started in my life that has FORCED me to stop everything.Let’s call this Chapter: The Big C.

I felt like writing would be the best outlet for all of my current frustrations, stressors, and new adventures with this life altering diagnosis. So, here I am.

I resigned from my career in 2021. From that point on until right around June 2024 I went full throttle with Petite Seats (my business). Working 70 hour weeks, sleeping 3-4 hours a night, eating in the street (but “healthy” options minus the gluten). My body felt fine. I had weekly massages, depending on the load of the week I’d get two massages per week. In my head this was enough to maintain a healthy body. Welp, you know what I ignored?! My body’s inflammation. Severe edema in my legs, ankles, and feet. Additionally, my BELLY began to “pop out” out of no where. No amount of exercise would reduce my belly. My stomach began quite malleable and rotund. I felt like, okay, I’ll get a waist cincher and be on my way.

This worked up until this summer, right around June 2025. My once soft and squishy stomach turned rock solid.

Nida’s Inner Body Dialog:

Wi swoll she ankles an mek she belly big! She a go a di Docta. (My subconscious is definitely a Jamaican older woman).

Onida, in fact did not go to the doctor. Two more months passed and a new symptom arose…overwhelming, debilitating fatigue. The entire month of August I neglected a large part of my household duties to remain in a fetal like state in my bed.

Nida’s Inner Body Dialog:

Ok, now she sleeps like di dead. She a guh a di docta now.

Nope, I waited. I waited until I could no longer keep food down without horrifying pain. I waited until I couldn’t stand or sit upright for more than 20 minutes. On September 27, my big belly (a.k.a. Corti) and I decided to power through and attend SJ’s tennis match. I was strong, I did it. However, what was just a slight rumbling in my belly turned into a dull, persistent pain in my lower abdomen. We arrived home after the match and I drove myself to the ER.

During this visit, they did bloodwork and they did a CT scan. What did they see you ask?! The ER doctor on post said, “You have two grapefruit sized cysts on your ovaries. Along with a large amount of smaller cysts along the omentum. You have Big C ma’am”.

Simplify horrifying, right?! A cancer diagnosis. My mind nor my body was prepared for this. I was on a bed parallel to the Nurse’s Station. It was a Friday night, the ER was busy. No privacy and no D. After the doctor’s words, showing no outward emotions to the preliminary diagnosis, I thanked him and said so what’s next. He explained that the oncology team would be in on Monday and he’s preparing me to be admitted. After saying this he walked away. I turned on my side toward the wall and I cried. For 3 minutes I let my emotions take over. The 4th minute I starting talking to Yah. Minute 10, I called my anchor, I said, “D dey telling me I have the Big C”.

Nida’s Inner Body Dialog: